Advice to football fanatics I will encounter for the rest of my life.

I get it. I'm a big enough guy to be playing football for your favorite team, especially when they're not doing so well. While you're wishing that I fulfill the fantasy that others have been in my ear about ad nauseum since high school, I'll be in the booth, either programming, or directing the event(s) to which your team can win or lose in HD without me. That's how I choose to make "your squad" look good.  

Before finally going to sleep for the night.

Just a quick note that I wanted to log.

I may not be here for a long amount of time, but for the time I'm allowed, I'd like to know that I did enough of the things I was afraid to do, because of the shallow judgement from many strangers and most loved ones. What's life without a little bit of defiance, a break from the norm? So long as it brings no harm, do what you feel is needed to get done, so you can rest easier in your later years.  

Things the "Internet" Ruined: Lists (and tributes)

For as long as modern means of communication have been around, there's always been lists that people use to state the order in which they approve of something, be it most or least favorite movies, types of people, friends, weapons, porn stars, what-have-you. But even before modern means of expressing these lists such as the internet, there's always been those that seem to feel as if they weren't thought of when someone of another background (and possibly of bigger importance to a community they both speak to) doesn't put their suggestions into a list. Such expressions include...

"What about...?"
"Why isn't [insert choice] on here?"
"You forgot (to say)..."
"(What?) No..."

Those are the people that forget that, while they have the free right to express their opinion just as much as the author did, they can use said freedom to create their own version of the list that they felt wronged by, because it didn't consider their feelings.

This happens a lot with artwork, as well. Say, an artist does a tribute to some 80s cartoon icons, and someone who had no prior input to the picture feels that it's missing someone that the artist probably considered, but decided to go another direction for any given reason. Maybe they couldn't fit them on the pic, maybe they never heard of the character you hold so dear. Or maybe, instead of complaining about what the artist didn't do for Your (self-imposed) Majesty, ask them if they could do another one with that character in mind, or some singular tribute to them.

As much energy as it takes to govern another's choice of expression in this case, it takes about as much to make a humble suggestion, or perish the thought, an actual compliment for even doing a period-based tribute ('cause we're still sticking with the example, here).

Some people are doing these lists and tributes out of their own free time, usually with careful thinking attached to it. Yeah, they run the risk of other means of disapproval, within the shallow realm of "this sucks" without a reason why it does so (triple that when posting it online), but hopefully those other people can learn that if you weren't part of the process, then it shouldn't be a question as to why your suggestion/demand wasn't met. Artists can be considered many things, but it's certain the greater majority of them don't negotiate with creative control terrorists.

tl,dr remix:

Don't like what they did? Move on to what you do like, and/or make your own. Maybe even as a reply to that one.

[End Scene]    

Over a year later...

...and it's gonna' be a post as short, if not shorter than the last one I left. Never mind how embarrassing it looks to have said "holla' at your boy," 'cause it just don't have the same pop as as does when you actually say it. I'll try not to do that  again, but no promises. Can't wait to see what else I wrote so far back that'll render me embarrassed, but I have to clock in, for now.

Yeah, that's another big turnaround from my last blog. I'm a working man, again. So we'll end there :)

[End Scene]

Truth Be Told: Invasion

I honestly wouldn't mind an alien invasion right about now. Sure, half of my friends will look at me funny, while the others will nod, agree, and already have weapons on stash. To that other half, I say holla' at your boy when it's showtime.

The work force is (not) strong in this one.

I want to break format for this post, because I need help understanding something, here. In this age of jobs, money, stability, and comfort being on the downfall with little to no end in sight for so many that want and need to work, why are there are those that will complain about not wanting to go in to their jobs?

We're talking about people that may or may not be able to write their ticket everywhere they seek, due to whatever skills they have, if any. I'll take into consideration that not everyone that says it means it,but for the lot that do, try being on the other side of the fence, where people qualified to run their own office or business can't even get part time work as a local store clerk, whose respective business is more than often the first ones to go before the franchises.

There are those that need that money to pursue better options to expand on their education in a field that's in demand. Depending on where you live, you might have programs that teach you for (next-to) free, but in the end, there's always going to be a need to pay for what's necessary to get so much as towards that advancement. Needless to say, you're going to need work to get money, but if the work's not there for people that want it, why are the people that have it legitimately complaining about going to it? Are they no better than the ones that sit back freeloading, tapping out on job searching while taking other's drinks and food without permission, or even thanks?

Perhaps some of these quitters were heavily reliant on others' help, and when they could no longer spend their time on them for whatever the reason, they fell into submission, even depression, hoping that something will come along without effort, while scraping at every last dollar they can from selling or bartering with others. Pray you're not the type to actually be given money, but spend it on anything meaningful, like bills, debts, and so on.

But for those that had to sacrifice item after item to make sure there was gas in the car to get to that "in person only" app, money on their cell phone to see who's hiring so they won't waste what little gas they have, and well-kept clothes for that potential interview you get called for on said cell, while signing no less than three applications a day, THEY are the people you'll never see complain about having a job when they get it, even if it's outside of their (once) shallow comfort zones. And here these other people are, taking theirs for granted, as if life will be any easier with their hands out wondering what went wrong or what should they do now.


So for every person that says that and are honestly joking, make sure it's not one that wears thin, because the more you use it, the more you risk getting what you ask for, while looking foolish in the eyes of those that are still struggling to be important to an employer again, if not for the first time. Be an example, not a poor end of  a statistic.

Big and Tall people, and the fools that love them.

As long as there is life, there’s going to be someone to question something. What does this taste like? Why is the sky blue? Why does Fox always cancel every show I start to like? Some questions don’t have answers as clear cut as we’d like them to be, but usually it’s the question that defines the direction of the answer.  One case, in particular, is not only seemingly pandemic, but also personal. 

Now, it’d be foolish to think that there’s enough intelligence in the world to decide when to not bother someone about something that’s clearly obvious about them. Physical impairment is one thing, due it possibly being linked to an event that was outrageous and/or out of control, but when it comes to someone’s stature, it seems to become grounds for mental inactivity. So with that, comes a few things that you’ll come to see (and/or hear) being said to the vertically and mass advanced that should never be.

Unless, of course, you’re hot and using it as a come-on.

   First, there's anything about sports. Let’s face it, with certain exceptions, when you see sports involving pain, blood, fractures, and other things in post-hockey championship riots, there are usually bigger, more astounding sentinels whom their lesser-know (and possibly lesser-active) counterparts will be associated with. Therefore, anyone in their wrong mind will come up to someone that fits the descriptions, and either ask, or claim that they were involved in some form of contact sport.

   The claim is usually made know with self-serving wit, stating they need to play for one’s favorite team, or another that’s ailing in the current or past seasons. Contrary to beliefs, not all big and tall folk are either able, or even interested in sports of that nature, if sports at all.

   So let’s say that the inquisitor is correct, that they did play for something. Pray that our heightened victim is proud to have or had that experience, and will treat every wanna-be interviewer like they were a Barbara Walters exclusive.

Of course, some do it without realizing how jealous they sound of you.

   Next is anything involving security. It’s a common fact that no matter what the situation, you feel better knowing that there’s someone larger than you on your side if it comes to being in a  place where it could reach zero to stick-and-move in nanoseconds.

   This sense of security is commonly felt by those that see one of my fellow big and/or tall crowd members, and will do the same as before, ask if they’ve ever worked for, or considered security.

  Only thing is, this come with a subplot bother, where someone will state that if they ever become famous, they want you as their bodyguard. Unless they’re working on a talent that survives off of enough people’s attention that protection is so in need, then it’s a waste of time on both sides of the inquiry. You’re expected to laugh along with their false sense of cleverness, but it only invites more of the same.  If it already hasn’t invited the need to do what’s next.

   Often, you'll get those called loosely outside their name, by adding size to the mix of it. It’s most common when you’re not the only one that someone knows by your name (i.e., if the Andy in housewares is bigger than Andy in Automotive, he'll be "Big Andy"). Of course it’s helpful to males when they’re being referred to more than just physical size, but that’s more gender specific.  

  Now some may not mind being known as “Big”-insert name, but some just don’t need the reminder of their size, especially when in most cases, it brings on health issues. Some, gradually fatal. 

  Still, it’s easier for some to make light of one’s height  in an ironic and joking matter, and they wish to call you things like “Little”-whatever, or the more acidic “Tiny.” It never fails to hear someone call us that without a crap-eating smile on their face, as if they’re immediately accepted into the Comedy Hall of Fame.

In case it needs to be told in Layman’s terms, no, it’s not.

But it’s not as bad as the next, which can happen more than once in a conversation. That of course is being repeatedly reminded that you're a "big guy/big girl."

  When you’re buying or getting into a car, getting new clothes,  or even handwriting some note to a friend, we’re forced to hear someone comment on their expectations of fitting to the situation, while stating that you are, in fact, larger than the average person they’re used to seeing. For example:

“Are you sure you can get in that car? ‘Cause damn, you a big drink of water!” or, “You’re not just gonna eat that, are you? Big guy/girl like you, you should double that!”

Short-range thinking gets people intro trouble, even laughed at. As for the B&G folk, some know our limits, others don’t (and we might laugh at them, too), but like the previous listing, we don’t need the reminder. 

What we do need is some respect and assurance that a conversation can go the distance without this, or any of the previous annoyances, no matter how much that “ignorant” part of the brain wants them to do so. But, if I wasn’t writing about it, and others within or (in the most relative way) above my pay grade haven’t complained to and with me about, then it wouldn’t be going on enough to bring it to mass attention.

Of course, we are only on number two. Number one deserves to be there, for the sheer fact of its arrival in bulk, and serves as the flagship remark to all that have been mentioned already. 

I, naturally speak of being asked “How tall are you?”

  It’s the first thing out most mouths that see us tower over their miniature bodies. They feel so mystified by the very appearance of someone miles above their person, they forget that this is someone that’s probably heard them all, and could go the rest of their lives without hearing them again.Unless they got a dollar for every time.

  Let’s say our “human Megazord” actually has the nerve to answer them with their legitimate measurements. One of three things could happen. The first is to justify that mental retardation issue stated before, with them replying with a simple “Wow, you’re tall.” Thanks. We were wondering why we had to duck in most doorways, or why we’re doomed to nothing beyond the teacup rides, as well as why you were dead set on being the millionth customer to ask this, as if asking how much something is in a dollar store doesn’t bring enough substance to your life.

The second thing to expect is, again, after (un)willingly stating the actual height, is for the inquisitor to deny your response. Here’s a conversation I had, verbatim, with one of these idjits:

“Yo man, how tall are you.”

(Rolls eyes) “Six-seven.”

“No the fuck you ain’t, you gotta’ be six-five!”

So if you’re so sure that I’m wrong about my own height, why the hell did you bother me with the question? You’d have to be a complete jerk to even assume that there’s something okay with that type of thinking.

As for the third and final thing? Simply put, any of the other four parts that have been advised NOT to do.

In conclusion, it’s humanity’s need-to-know mentality that often results in questioning their ability to see when not to ask things about a person’s outrageous features. Those that can relate are surely not bothering shorter folk about their height deficiency, and are tired being asked to stand up from their comfortable spot for a height comparison, or to reach for something off the top shelf by people that can do it themselves without the use of a stepladder.  To those people, I advise that the next time you step up to a big and tall person, step correct. Your neck might hurt, but pray that your feelings, or anything else, aren’t next if you choose not to follow that route.